Hang Ry at Hung Ry

We ate lunch here and I was not amused. The location in question is Hung Ry, 55 Bond Street. The Chinese characters beneath it’s name card simply says ‘pulled noodles’ which does not translate phonetically or in any other way to ‘Hung Ry’. Taken in this light the name of the restaurant runs along the same lines as a puerile ‘cream of some young gai’ Asian joke. What is the name of this place really meant to convey? Sadly, I would say that, after one eats there, one would still be hungry.

Considerable effort (and likely expense) was spent on developing the identity of the restaurant. I heard about the restaurant through the fanfare of a large PR trumpet. I don’t recall precisely, but was it in Vogue that I read about the restaurant with stylish photographs? Anyway, the long and short of this noodle fiasco is that they are trying very hard. Too hard in my opinion, but meanwhile missing the main point; Hung Ry’s website claims they produce the finest organic hand pulled noodles, along with additional blurb about natural, locally grown farm fresh food. Additional mention of how the restaurant is furnished with hem stitched linens and organic soap, Limoges flatware, reclaimed wood décor and even organic paint! Will someone stop all this fluff and nonsense?  Surely what matters to me is how the noodles taste in my mouth.

The service was ingratiatingly polite. No matter that I could barely understand the waiter at all. Common sense and a degree of deduction will inform you of what the waiter is trying to convey to you. We were three that day, Russ and I were joined by our friend Rebecca. Russ ordered the ‘Duck Breast, leg, szechuan, goji berry, long beans, Chinese broccoli’. Rebecca went the vegetarian route with ‘Carrot broth, charred kazu, seasonal vegetables’ and I went with the ‘Bo-Bo chicken, orange cauliflower, Chinese broccoli, fermented tofu broth’.  

Rebecca is smiling.

I didn’t know what Bo-Bo chicken is and I couldn’t figure out a Chinese translation either. Nor could I be bothered to ask the waiter who spoke his own version of English. Shortly after placing our order, a petit amuse bouche of pork gelatin arrived. A little challenging and perhaps not to everyone’s liking. After all pork is not one of the many available flavors of Jello at the supermarket. Then we waited for our main courses…and waited…and waited…

The duck breast soup.

For a restaurant that is a quarter to a third full, the amount of time we had to wait was not good. So, as prophesized, we were hungry. Deliverance did finally come, but without much reward. Looking at Russ’s duck noodles, the broth was dark and flavorful, however it was loaded with so much salt that it could have sent a heart attack patient to the grave. The dark wheat noodles it came with were mushy and broke into little pieces. I would liken them to cardboard confetti. How a restaurant that specializes in noodles could serve noodles like that is beyond me.

The Bo-Bo Chicken soup. 

The Bo-Bo chicken was equally uninspiring, the chicken being dry and tough. Accompanying vegetables were fine, but neither here nor there. No amount of fancy sounding menu description could save this bowl of ennui. The only glimmer of light in this meal of despair turned out to be Rebecca’s noodles with summer vegetable broth. I had fully given up all hope and didn’t think I would have anything good to say at all, yet the same poor noodle quality aside, the broth was surprisingly good. It had a intriguing depth of flavor with a central note of ginger.

Well at least Rebecca is still smiling...

If you think I am being hard to please here, you are correct. The average price for a bowl of noodles here is $18. That price point is over three times what one would pay in a typical Chinatown noodle restaurant, where I might add you would have a far superior bowl of noodles. There is a pulled noodle restaurant that we frequent regularly. The place is a dive, but the noodles there are simply genius in a ‘they made this all their lives’ kind of way. A bowl of noodles there costs $5.

Ian.

Rating 1 star out of 5

Likelihood of return: Extremely low.

Keeping it in the family at Ippudo

Ippudo, the only US branch of the Japanese Ramen chain located at 65 4th Avenue, is old news to NY foodies, but when my West Coast, food loving cousins came into town and wanted some noodles, it was at the top of my list of places to visit. My cousin Harvey (Harvey, feel free to use the comment section to elaborate on the true nature of our relation...... second cousins, cousins once or twice removed etc), his wife Kitty, and their son Jordan joined Ian and I for an early lunch this week.

Jordan and I,  we are blurry in real life too

Kitty and Harvey

Ian going through his pre-noodle eating calisthenics routine

When we walked in, we were greeted loudly by all the staff, as is the custom at Ippudo. It's always nice to be welcomed, but be careful about straying from the rules. Ian arrived later than the rest of us, and even though we had a table with PLENTY of seats, the policy at Ippudo is once your party is seated, there are no add-ons. MEANING, your friend cannot arrive 5 minutes later than the rest of your party and order a meal.  Ian, who arrived 15 minutes after us and casually tried to order a bowl of Akamaru Modern Ramen,  was REFUSED service. Fortunately, they didn't yell at us for sharing food with him, but Ian did receive the glare of death from the waitress, and they also conveniently took the opportunity to automatically apply the mandatory gratuity for parties of 5 or more, even though they wouldn't serve one of us.......harumph!

Some annoyances are just worth dealing with though. We arrived at the restaurant at 11:45 AM on a Tuesday and didn't have to wait, but I'm used to waiting an hour or more to be seated at Ippudo and to me it's worth it, because I think Ippudo serves the best Ramen in NY. We started out the meal with some pork buns which are no bargain at $4.50 a piece ($9 for an order of two)  Harvey was comparing them to Chinese pork buns that can be bought for less than a dollar in Chinatown, but the quality of most Chinese pork buns just isn't on the same level, and of course, these are made with tender pork belly and not sugary Char-su. The pork on the buns at Ippudo really melts in your mouth, and the schmear of mayo adds a nice counterbalance to the salty sweetness of the pork. Served with a sprig of lettuce on a rice bun, this is more akin to a sandwich than the pork buns many of us are used to. The flavor is intensely stimulating, one is really enough but at the same time it would be hard to say no to seconds. Richness of flavor is one of the themes at Ippudo, I highly recommend people with gout completely avoid the entire block of 4th Avenue between 10th and 11th streets, lest they expose themselves to meaty pork vapors emanating from the restaurant that could dangerously aggravate their condition.

You know you want me.

We felt liked we needed a little greenery at the table, so we ordered up some flash-fried Shishito peppers, which have a flavor reminiscent of snow peas, and are served with a salty, peppery dipping powder. I recently saw lots of these peppers at the Union Square Farmer's Market which makes them a good seasonal choice although Ippudo serves them year round. Generally rather mild,  the peppers we had today were much spicier than I remember. Peppers are notoriously susceptible to cross-pollination and peppers that normally register as "flaccid" on the heat index can sometimes be very spicy if they are grown to closely to hotter peppers. If the Shishito peppers are too spicy for you, simply eat only the tips and avoid the base where the seeds and most of the heat are located. 

Slightly Spicy Shishito Peppers (say 10 times fast).

I've been to Ippudo a good dozen times and I've tried many of their broths and long ago I decided the best bowl of soup at Ippudo is the Akamaru Modern.  To this I always add a hard boiled egg, since I love it when the yolk soaks up the broth. The Modern is served with a "Tonkotsu", a broth made from long-cooked pork bones,  as opposed to a "Shoyu",  or soy based or broth, or the fish based broth knows as "Shio". While all are good I'm sure, the pork broth is so spectacular it's hard for me to critique the other variations of broth, I haven't had them in years. If  menu space dedicated to Tonkotsu is any indicator, there's really no choice, nearly all of Ippudo's ramen offerings are based on the porcine edition.

Two slices of roast Chasu pork, a  dollop of spicy miso paste,  and a bowl of Akamaru Modern;  about to be devoured.

The Modern comes with Miso Paste you can mix in to your liking,  two very thin slices of Chasu pork that are almost an aside, and some cabbage, seaweed, and scallions. At lunch, you can add a mini-portion of tasty fried rice and salad for $3 more, but at $14 for a bowl of soup, it's not really needed, especially if you started the meal with a pork bun. The broth, cloudy with bits of porky goodness,  is the richest I have ever tasted. To give you an idea of the intensity of flavor in the Tonkotsu broth, imagine the heartiest french onion soup  you ever tasted, then substitute onions for pork,  then multiply by two.  There may be a whole pig in every spoonful. This broth is so packed with pork essence that it can be used as holy water against rabbis, although I would ask my readers to refrain from actually trying it. 

The noodles are very thin, half as thin and of no relation to the ubiquitous  yellow Top Ramen accompanied by a packet of MSG in the "five for a dollar" bin at your local supermarket. You might think that a slender and freshly made noodle could easily be cooked  to a soft or mushy consistency but not at Ippudo. The ramen is cooked to a perfect degree of slight chewiness and pliancy. In some ways, and please stop me if this is sacrilegious, these noodles are God's most beautiful and perfect creation. I suspect He/She must have dedicated at least a full day to their creation.

And on the 6th day God created....Ippudo Ramen Noodles!

I'm kidding here, but only slightly. They are very delicious and quite perfect looking noodles, unfortunately my photography skills were no match for them on this day. Kitty didn't agree about the noodles, she said they were a little too thin, and Jordan said that he needed more Ramen experience before he could judge the quality of these particular noodles.  He did give a big thumbs up to the broth although he thought Ippudo could be a little more generous with the roasted pork portions beyond the two razor thin pieces that came with our soup. In theory I agree, although it would be difficult for my body to absorb more pork than it already had through the pig delivery system known as Tonkotsu at Ippudo.  Ian and I, who have been coming here since they opened in 2007, both agreed that they consistently served the best bowl of Ramen in NY. Harvey had the Karaka Men, essentially a spicier version of the Modern. He thought it could have used a little more heat but was impressed with the flavor. 

Karaka-Men , just add spice.

Sure, Ippudo is a little pricey,  but the ingredients and the flavors are superior. Unless you can get there very early,  prepare to dedicate a good chunk of time to waiting for a table, and god forbid if your friends aren't there when you are called to sit down (they won't be eating). With appetizers and drinks, you may be looking at a $30 bowl of noodles (or North!), but to the ramen lover, and especially the rich ramen lover, this is no obstacle. Since Harvey decided to foot the bill today,  Ian and I didn't have to grapple with these types of unsavory economic issues that can plague us "food artists". I enthusiastically endorse dining at Ippudo, and especially with Harvey, Kitty, and Jordan (and Ian.....if he's paying).